Snow Hope.

Tis the season of snow hope.

That lovely season when any day could be a snow day and we know what that means... the potential for no school. This is no small thing, mind you. Snow days are serious around my house. I watch the weather religiously... "What is the extended forecast?" "Ok. So bad news according to weather.com but what about the national weather service?" "What does the doplar radar show and what about the humidity?" "What is the ground situation... sticking a possibility?" "Outside temps below 32?"

Then, you check out WLOS like it's your new crush. The refresh button gets hit every ten minutes (or less?, must I confess?). If no news surfaces you pace from the couch to the window to check out the situation on the ground (and sky). Then, if hope still lives (and ahhh, it lives) you go to bed.

6AM. Window check. Laptop gets pulled into bed and the refresh button gets that one last refreshing... waiting, waiting "my internet is soooo slow!" "what is wrong with this thing?" "dear God, hear my plea...." and the most amazing message appears. My school - CLOSED. I smile so big you'd think I was the Grinch who stole Christmas. The laptop gets shoved to the other side of the bed. I sink into the blankets. I fall asleep with dreams of going to Sunny Point and eating huevos rancheros and a gigantic glass of orange juice when I awake and bundle up for the walk in the snow... in the happiness of frozen precipitation... in a day of hot chocolate and reading cozily.

6PM. The cycle continues... if hope still lives (and ahhh, it lives).

Did I mention Snow is my middle name? No, really. For real.

Lessons in Rabbit (and Human) Taming.

Tonight was a major breakthrough with Skip. I mean major.

This may not seem huge to you dog and cat owners but keep in mind I have a prey animal as a pet. Skip jumped up on the couch too many times to number while I was sitting on it, working on my grad work. One time, he speed ran down the hallway, took an abrupt turn to the right, jumped on the couch, and slid into my knee. Pretty awesome.

I think he likes me. He HAS to like me, right? I mean, what does a rabbit get out of jumping on the couch so much except to hang out with me? Bonding is happening... and what is funny is that I was reading up on childhood attachment while sitting on the couch this whole time. Skip is confirmed in a secure attachment to his caregiver (me).

And now, before I go to bed, my mind is swimming with a ton of thoughts about all of this. I'm remembering all the efforts I've gone through to help Skip feel safe with me...
1. over a year of tactics for litter box training, learning when to come to his cage training, and overcoming anxiety training
2. much more time than is healthy in forcing Skip to be near me so he can get used to humans (this included bunny attacks, growling, and the likes)
3. lots of reading on rabbit behavior and trying to act like a rabbit to communicate with Skip and become his rabbit friend

Was it worth it? You bet... and he's not even my child. I was so happy to see him conquer his fears because it allowed him to finally "feel" attached to me and this made me happy but mainly because I knew it made him happy.

Theological implications? more than I can think of at 10:17pm. But one comes to mind. God works painstakingly, lovingly, and mercifully to bring me out of my isolated fear state where I fight, defend, and run away from all the lovely things I should be nearing. One day, I will lay down arms and come near what all along was my security, though I didn't believe it. And God, well, he is indeed happy over the nearness of me but also happy that (the anxiety battle being over) I am happy being near him. For a girl whose major life struggles almost entirely revolve around fear, it was a pleasant evening being happy to be near the rabbit who is most happy being near me. I felt proud of him. And I felt satisfied in the work I'd done.

Let's congratulate Skip on moving towards all things good and trusting that what is trustworthy is trustworthy.

Bunny snacks.

Last week a colleague gave me an incredible gift. I pulled out a box of Annie's Bunny Graham Friends from my box in the office. The cuteness of this product reaches illegal levels. Annie is now my friend. I love her, her bunny (named Bernie), and her products. I perused the website and also discovered that I loved the company. There's info for kids on how to grow a garden (program called "Root for Kids"), free "loot," and free recycling stickers with 2 proofs of purchase (I'm working on sending that off.) I've already sent off for the free rabbit lunchbox.

Highlights of the cuteness explosion just on the box itself:
1. We are committed to reducing our bunny footprint.
2. Gently tug on ears to open (there is a bunny printed at the top of the box.)
3. Push tail to open (there is a bunny printed on the side of the mac and cheese box.)
4. No icky additives or pesky preservatives.
5. Share bunnies with friends.
6. Hop Hop Hooray! I'm organic!
7. A rabbit of approval (instead of seal of approval)
8. The crackers and mac n cheese are in the shape of bunnies (or carrots)
9. Watch out! They go really fast!

And you can see pictures and info about all the farmers who grow crops for Annie's food on their website.

Awesome. And, yes, I am a sucker for marketing. I drink Horizon milk because there is a cute cow on the front. But, bunny food? I'm sold for life. And now I'm going to stalk Annie... I'm already signed up for the newsletter (Rabbit Tales).

www.annies.com

The Oreck.

Today I brought home (thanks to mom and dad) a new vacuum cleaner. I am giddy with excitement. This is no ordinary vacuum cleaner. This is the Oreck XL Gold series powerful, lightweight, upright vacuum with HEPA hypo-allergenic filtering system. She's a beauty. I've already vacuumed a bit, just for fun.

She's self propelled, has a mean light in the front, and makes less noise than other machines... vacuuming is truly a privilege.

And it's yellow!!!

Ode (of sorts) to my Singer.

You started smelling funny.
You made clinkity clink clink noises.
You suffered from lapine attacks on your power cord.
And you died. Right there. In the middle of an applique project.
The quilt lies in silence... no warmth this winter.
Mr. Ketch says "not for 7 weeks."
And, though you are in good hands, I mourn your absence.

One day, you will be happy again.
For the first time since 1975.
Sewing will reign in the yellow house.
And I will become craft queen.

It's that time of the year...

The moment I've been waiting for since last November. The pure delight of the sugary, waxy, orangey loveliness.

This morning I ate candy corn.

And I feel happy.

the blues...

In Breakfast at Tiffany's Holly Golightly explains the difference between the "mean reds" and the blues. The mean reds are when "suddenly you are afraid and you don't know what you are afraid of." I've had the mean reds before, more than I'd have liked to. But, tonight I had the blues and found three perfectly sound sources of yellow. So, now, I guess I feel green, whatever that means.



Yellow sources:
1. A dear friend
2. A cheeseburger
3. An Eskimo kiss from Skip

Biking on Haywood Road.

I hit a car... a moving car... with a person in it.

He looked at me.

I mouthed "Your car is ok."

He nodded.

We parted.

I had a helmet on, if you're wondering.

And yes, I was embarrassed because it was rush hour and well... I'm insecure.

Insecure Persons Anonymous.

Hello. My name is Ruth and I am an insecure person. That's right, folks, and I'll even blog about it which kinda makes me feel pretty secure about my insecurity but maybe it just means I'm really insecure because I have to talk about it. Like, right now, I'm questioning whether I should post this blog because I feel insecure about my secure announcement of my insecurity.

Just from today:
1. I dropped my Fresca can on my foot and then remembered that people at work make fun of my drinking Fresca every day for lunch... cool people don't drink Fresca.
2. My students noticed 4 terms I left off the test... eeek. Ms. Vann does not have her act together.
3. My button fell off my shirt today. Then I sewed it back on while I kept on teaching.
4. No one told me today that the back of my head had major cow licks from sleeping on it funny.
5. I ranted to the 8th grade about how hard it is to discipline them instead of just doing it.
6. I tried to teach a girl in my craft class how to knit a hat and totally went blank.
7. I had a meeting with my boss where I suddenly became aware of how often I was using the word "like" and then was so stuck on my unprofessional, un-classical education language that I just ceased being able to communicate altogether.
8. Dang it! I ran out of soy sauce. I forget things like that because I drink Fresca.
9. The 6th graders didn't really like the snack I brought them. Apparently, no one likes raisins anymore.
10. I forgot the verb in a sentence on the overhead. By now, I'm having trouble laughing it off.

Too insecure to admit the worst of it... just take my word for it...

My diagnosis: Insecurity
My treatment program: A large dose of reminding myself not to take myself so seriously, internal exercises on the value of me, commitment to ending the cycle of insecurity, cleansing of the silliness of the lies I love to hold and pet lovingly, ... and no more Fresca.

Weight Problem?

Someone told me recently that Skip looked like he'd put on some weight. Is Skip getting overweight? I looked at pictures of him about 6 months ago and confirmed. Skip IS gaining weight. Maybe a bit too pudgy. Too many banana chips or maybe it's the summer kale. How do you know you have a rabbit weight problem? What IS his ideal weight? Can Rabbits get heart disease?

Rabbits are certainly cuter when they are pudgy. But, then again, Bugs Bunny was always such a fit rabbit and he was really skinny...